New Favourite Spoilage

19 11 2015

My boyfriend is ❤️ part 2





14 10 2015

Add this to the list of things I wanted just because it was pretty. My boyfriend is ❤

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Bali Love

14 09 2015

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Make Up Essentials

26 08 2015

Glad I’m enough of a noob that packing for trips doesn’t require too much space for face stuff. 😁


4 07 2015


BREAK EVEN & ENDLESS HEIGHTS Only Stop in SEAsia // Live in Singapore

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The Only Boy

4 05 2015

I grew up thinking love was going to come easy.  Mostly because of my beautiful sister. I love her to death but she’s probably the one that has build in my mind an unreasonably high standard when it came to romance. Thinking back, I don’t remember my sister ever being alone. She either had a boyfriend or had someone chasing her. This was made very obvious from the gifts and flowers I’d have to receive at our doorstep on her behalf. Every time, for some reason, it was always me that had to sign for them. 
Once on Valentines day, she had 3 suitors come over back to back to pick her up with bouquets of flowers. It was such a sight to see really. If you’ve seen my sister, you’ll know why. Truly a heartbreaker that one, but grew up to be one with a beautiful soul. 

Today, she’s happily married to an amazing man I’m happy to call my brother in law. He treats her so good and has became a great addition to the family. 

Then that leaves me. My mother had to hold me for my last break up and her heart broke along with mine. She felt every thing and that drove her to be so cautious for me. At some point even wishing I’d never fall in love again so no one could break my heart again. “Your sister has done men wrong in the past.” The beliefs are that her bad doings might be passed on to me, the youngest one. Karma. If i were to be the recipient of all her bad juju, I’m genuinely screwed. 

I’ve never been the sort to want more than one. Everything about it is wrong to me and most of all, who has that kind of energy really Hahaha. When I’m with someone, no other guy can exist that way for me. That’s good news to the man I’m with, bad news if he doesn’t feel or do the same. 

For as long as I’ve remembered, roses have been my pick me up. Whenever i wanted to feel pretty or good about my life, I’d get myself roses. Granted they weren’t from a man but for awhile, I thought it to be empowering to be able to hold my own. All the while wishing and praying someday, someone will love me enough to takeover and be the one to make me feel good. I also often bought flowers for other people, in sadness or celebration. It was a way to earn good juju, by giving. 

My previous relationship was a little hint that the “little sister curse” was going away so easily. 
He was not a bad person. Just a man, in love with someone else (and himself). I had to figure that out during the relationship, and let him choose her in the end. He had told me earlier on in the relationship that he wasn’t the type to buy a girl flowers. I sorta shrugged it off, thinking well, life. A few months after we broke up, A friend of mine, not thinking that it’d have any significance, told me my ex had given this chick flowers for valentines day. That didn’t feel great. 

A few years on, I met Fuad. I told him how much I loved flowers. Much to my despair, he says, almost in the exact same way, that he’s not the type to buy a girl flowers. 

Then it struck me. It wasn’t any of these guys that weren’t the sort, it was me. Maybe I’m not the sort to get flowers. And for awhile, I believed it too. It honestly dug a hole in my heart thinking I wasn’t good enough. Had a few moments where I blamed my sister for it. The curse. I didn’t really believe in it but I didn’t have anyone else to blame. 

Today, well as lame as this sounds, the curse took a hit. ☺️   

Boxed roses. Goddamn. This was the damn dream. I was just telling Tabby the other day how gorgeous boxed roses were and how badly I wanted them. Today my dear boy made my dream come true. I was so happy, I would’ve cried if both my parents and our guest maid was intently watching my reaction. 

Fuad has been the only boy I’ve had a new years kiss then watched fireworks with, the only boy I’ve chased sunsets with, the only boy who woke up at dawn because I wanted to see the sunrise and of course, the only boy who wasn’t the sort to buy flowers, but did so for me.  I hope he’ll be my boy, voor eeuwig en altijd. 

I seriously love this boy. 


26 Ain’t That Bad

10 03 2015

You know you’ve reached a very RIPED age if you’re not even upset about spending your birthday at home, doing nothing. That was me today, and it wasn’t that bad. I don’t know why I was always so sad about this in the past. It always felt like I had to do something extravagant, every other birthday. Like I had something to prove. So dumb haha
Today I had time to myself, to be able to drown out the world with amazing music. I guess for the first time, in a long time, I’ve learned to be content. I’ve learned to look back and feel happy about things. Life didn’t turn out the way I planned, but I guess it happens. There’s a reason I’m not married, no kids. How are the people I grew up with doing this right now? Some parts of me judge them, some parts of me envy them, but most of all, I really admire them. How do they do it, really.

Jesus Christ. I’m 26.”

This year has been amazing so far. Started this year working for another Andrew Llyod Webber show, which is so amazing. Almost exactly after that run, ECHO helped out with the New Found Glory show. Pretty trippy seeing them in person. Interesting. Worked my first festival, handling hospitality after that. That was… also interesting. Haha

Then Melbourne. Holyshit. Soundwave and side shows for 5 days straight. We were at shows 80% of the time we were there. It was such an incredible accomplishment for the 3 of us. We took a flight to Perth, then to Melbourne. Landed on the first day of Soundwave. Checked into our hostel at 12pm, went straight to SW. CAN. YOU. IMAGINE. Somehow we survived  these shows: –

• Soundwave Day 1 (Sat)
• Soundwave Day 2 (Sun)
• Of Mice & Men, Atreyu, The Devil Wear Prada (Mon)
• The Wonder Years, Bayside, New Found Glory (Tues)
• The Swellers (Wed)

I got to see my ultimate band, Bayside. TWICE. It was like a dream. Then a de javu. LECAK.

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I got really sick the last day we were in Australia so the flight back was the absolute wooorrsssstttt! We flew from Melbourne at 8pm to Darwin. Arrived at about 11pm, darwin time and had to wait out for our next flight at 6am. We arrived Singapore 8am. 3. fucking. time. zones. I was having a fever, flu, cough and also dehydrated as hell. It was puking and bleeding from my face. It was truly my worst travel experience.

Got home to an empty house and I was sick as a dog but believe or not, I threw my bag on the floor and went straight to Che Rose Nasi Padang to get food for myself. I was half past dead but a little taste of home really helped. Again, believe it or not, I skipped my planned nap and went straight to Batam to celebrate Fuad’s birthday. Holyshit. I was desperately trying to hold myself together for him but by the end of that night, I crashed. HARD. Poor bf, had to take care of me the day after. Feel so shitty that he spent his birthday like that. 😦

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Birthday boy 😀

So tomorrow, I’m watching One Direction in concert (YEP), then the next day, I’m flying off to Bali with my love. I. Am. SO. Blessed. Also, this is so amazing of Fuad. Arrived at my doorstep. <333

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forever&always ❤