I Am Tired

There were days where things would just fall right into place.Stressing over things before I really need to; fixing things that aren’t broken. I’ve always trained my brain to do as such. It’s the worst habit I have. Somehow, my fears didn’t manifest itself. I’ve been lucky but never ungrateful. I show gratitude to the universe, thank my lucky stars every time.

But when the strong winds bring about the dark clouds, I’m never truly prepared. No matter how I worry things to death, it still hits me like a brick. They all come about at once. All my petty little problems manifests itself into something bigger.

I think about doing things. Very bad things.

How can I say forever and always all this time but within a day, think maybe otherwise. Within an instant with no warning my brain tells me to just quit. Did I lie to myself? Is that possible? Maybe I’ve kept resentment in my heart and today was the day it was at its brink. It just shuts off.

Worst of it all is I feel no sadness. I feel no anger. I just feel… tired.

Just. Very tired.