Joie De Vivre

15 07 2012

Love is unpredictable. Love is unpractical. You can’t manufacture it. That’s the reason why I’ve been so fascinated and generally in love with love. It’s such a painful concept to believe in but at the end of the day, the feeling you get when you take the leap is incredible – almost like floating. Things that bother you don’t matter as much when this person is around. Your senses are blind, your guard is weak and “falling” feels fucking awesome, but with a partner who’s willing to catch you when you do, there’s really no greater high than this. Sometimes you’re happy for no reason. Sometimes you’re sad for unreasonable things. At the end of it all, there’s always that person who’s going to accept this about you. Accept that you’re not perfect and stick by you because you’re just simply worth the work that is required in most partnerships.

For the longest time, I have had the dream of falling in love. I promised myself, when I do fall for someone, I was going to give it my all and I was going to do everything within my power to make things work. I see so many relationships fail because someone was unfaithful, unable to compromise, or simply just dishonest. So I made it a point to never get myself in that kind of situation. What I didn’t anticipate, were matters of the heart.

Being faithful, attentive, giving, honest and loving someone unconditionally sometimes just doesn’t tank when there is no mutual state of cloudiness on both ends. Most times, there is no possible way to control someone’s heart, no matter how desperately you want it, or no matter how much of yourself you’re willing to sacrifice. No one wants to hear this. No one wants to feel like nothing you do is ever going to be enough but that’s just reality of it all.

So what happens when you’re feeling all these things – blinded, weak and falling for someone who’s not willing to catch you? The inevitable.

There’s really no one to blame in these kinds of situations. One is ready for love, another is hopeful for it. Sometimes it works out, sometimes it doesn’t. When it’s the latter, there is only one resolution. Do whatever means necessary to deal with the pain of heartache, spend some time to be sad and pathetic but at the end of it, get the fuck up, grow some (lady) balls and move forward.There’s just that possibility someone might just want to catch you someday. Just because someone you had hoped and was sure with every appendix in your body was the love of your life or simply that guy you last dated that didn’t give a shit about you wasn’t the one to catch you, doesn’t mean the next person wouldn’t either. And just because it didn’t work out, doesn’t mean it wasn’t real. It’s about faith. There is not always a definite answer for it, no true formula to fix the situation or yourself, no practical reasoning for why shit went down. Sometimes, things just happen.




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