Miss Faithless’ Birthday

17 03 2011

It’s been a few times this month that I’ve tried to jot down or type out thoughts onto my blog or diary but I hesitate thinking about how stupid my life is and why I even bother with it. Every time I make an attempt to sit down and blog properly, the words come out political, offensive, depressing or plain old dumb as fuck. I’m a terrible blogger.

The longest post I’ve managed to type out recently was a text message to myself, on the eve of my birthday. I know that sounds a little sad but I didn’t feel like bothering anyone with my petty little problems. As self-absorbed as I am, one thing that I hate, is ruining someone’s day.

This text message to myself was more like a 21st century suicide note. My last few thoughts as a 21 year old revolved around the topic of fear and death. I had managed to create my own little unimaginative and egotistical version of an afterlife. Unimaginative because it’s an end without an end. Egotistical because I was my own religion. If the stories about religion and the afterlife are real, I’m spending an eternity in hell for the kinds of stuff that were written in that text. I’m not the most religious person on earth. Truth be told, I’m still at the stage where I’m battling with faith.

A while back, Sya & I had a late night/early morning heated discussion about religion with The Pints outside their hostel. Being punks, I wasn’t surprised when they told us they were anti-religion. They had strong opinions about Islam and it’s practices and I enjoyed hearing their side. One thing I loved about these guys was that they weren’t afraid to be honest. Or maybe it was just the excessive amounts of alcohol. At one point, Bubbles (their roadie) pointed at me specifically and asked me what my stand was and my answer was a simple shrug. My summary of 21 years of being a Muslim was a slight shoulder jolt and a side smirk. I’m glad they were too wasted to realize how incredibly poetic I was on the subject.

An old friend once told me when the time is right, my heart will open up to believing and that faking faith is worst than having no faith. I took the latter to heart. Faking faith is worst than having no faith. It’s true isn’t it? Don’t preach shit you don’t believe in. That’s why I get a little weird when bands ask me about Islam. Most times, either Sya or Lyn will be there and they’d answer all of it for me. Their stories and explanations never get old because they’re passionate about it. If I was put in the spot to answer some of these questions, it’ll be one hell of a short and boring conversation. If you want a topic, don’t ask me about the practices of Islam. Instead, ask me about religion in general. I spoke about this in a little voice clip I did for Karl Schubach’s solo project – which doesn’t have a release date yet but I’m super stoked to be part of it! My entry intially was about 20 minutes long but I managed to chop off about 19 minutes of it hahaha For a preview of my blasphemy, be sure to buy it when it comes out. I’ll be sure to spam it everywhere when news gets out.

Anyway, I’m trailing way off topic. Bottomline is, I wrote a depressing little note on the eve of my birthday that I had originally planned to post up here but decided against it due to the sensitive issue. So here’s a blog detailing the events that occurred after a depressing birthday eve.

It was an EP launch for our good friends in Embrace Them Ghosts and we also slotted in an australian band to play the same show. Honestly, having a show on my birthday was erky. It looked like I booked a band to play for my birthday when it was all a complete accident. I’m not that tacky, honest.

First of all, I’d like to apologize for the details I’m about to reveal. It’s something I want to remember down the road so skip this part if you don’t want any dirt. And my apologies to Dawn Heist as well. We didn’t really get to hang out and I’m sure they’re really awesome dudes.

The ECHO girls met at the airport on the 9th to pick the aussie dudes up at the airport. I usually do a bit of research on the band before we meet them because going into things blindly scares the living hell out of me. But Dawn Heist was an extremely new band and didn’t have much of them on cyber space so we didn’t have any kind of expectations.

The first meet up with the band never fails to be awkward. It had always been that way with every band we’ve ever booked or helped to chaperon but everyone loosens up after a few hours, sometimes minutes and somehow, we all magically become instant buddies. You can’t really explain it. It’s just giglife. Unfortunately though, it didn’t turn out this way with Dawn Heist. I’m sure they’re actually an awesome bunch but right from the start, everything was just .. awkward. I guess they’re not used to female organizers because I could’ve sworn, the first few minutes they had thought we were groupies waiting for an autograph ha ha Lyn was the first one to step up and introduced us as ECHO and I swear the guy looks at her like “ECHO? Are you selling something? Because I’m not interested.” I could be wrong but we didn’t get friendly enough for me to ask them why they were hesitant to introduce themselves or even shake our hands.

We all maintained distance for some reason on the bus and at the hostel and didn’t speak much to each other. Maybe we were just so used to bands who’d talk our ears off with questions about ECHO, Singapore, our culture, history or say stuff like “holyshit, is that really a ship on that building?!” Maybe we didn’t put enough of an effort to MAKE them talk but then again, I’ve been on tour before and sometimes, when I’m quiet, it means I’m tired and don’t feel like talking much. So that’s like a note I have in my mind whenever I meet bands for the first time. If they look like they don’t want to talk, leave them alone. Maybe I shouldn’t have followed code, idk.

I thought maybe we’d get them to loosen up abit when we hang out that night after they’ve sorted their shit out and finally get into “off day on tour” mode but one of them has a relative living at Avenue 4 (which btw I’m told is where all the extravagant mansions are) so, we just waited out for their limo cab and went home. Mission get-to-know-band fail. Day 1, complete bust.

Day 2 – They were still awkward around us. What the what. My conclusion is they were weird about us having vaginas. Sometimes bands feel bad about talking normally in front of girls, in fear they’d offend us. What more, we were ASIAN girls. But really… please don’t. We could care less if you have hairy balls or if you took a dump that was shaped like a giant dick. Girls fart and shit too you silly bitches.

The turn out was relatively good for a small, weekday show with sloppy marketing. (The poster was my fault btw, sorry about that) Honestly, as bad as this may sound, I always feel we nail it when it comes to line up. We had deathcore, metalcore and hardcore all in one show and no one killed each other. If I’m not wrong, it was one of the first few shows for No Rest For The Weary and I really did dig their stuff. Straight Forward didn’t get to play because of some issues with the band members, which was a real bummer because a lot of people came specifically to watch them and I was one of those who was stoked for their set.  Fall of Mirra – well, there is really nothing bad you can say about this band. There’s a reason why they’re such a favourite with a lot of people and it shows with every show they do. So proud to call them friends. Embrace Them Ghosts couldn’t have chosen a better time to launch their EP. They’ve gotten so so good since the last time I watched them and have gotten very…uhm tight and chey chey cheyyyy looking goooood. Hahaha GREAT band. The crowd was WILD for them and singing along to their tunes. Very rare for local bands and it was absolutely amazing to see. I was outside to do merch for most of their set, honestly because I had the suspicion the ETG boys & my girls were up to something (they were texting and being all dodgy for 2 days and at one point, didn’t even let me sit at the door table) and like, OMG DNW the weird attention!! So imagine my horror when Sya and Lyn forced me inside for an “EMERGENCY” (that was so obvious la girls, sorry hahaha). I was officially that person at a show you don’t know but sang a happy birthday song for. I was horrified but a tiny bit relieved Cheska and I shared the same birthday, so I wasn’t the only one in the spotlight. I awkwardly yell thank you to everyone and ran out of the venue with the cake haha Fuck, it makes me blush even thinking about it. Bwah. Thank you ETG ,Sya, Lyn and everyone who sang along. It was cho schweet 🙂 I wish I handled it better though hahahaha

Dawn Heist was next and because we weren’t technically friends, I didn’t feel obligated to like them. But surprise surprise, I LOVED their set. I can’t put into words how AMAZING of a live band they are. They really got the crowd going and it made my day so much. At one point, I literally stepped into the venue to Pat (the lead singer) yelling “ERUPT” (or something to that extend) and I could’ve sworn, almost half the crowd literally ERUPTED into a hardcore dancing frenzy.  HOLYSHIT. It was one of the best things I’ve ever seen happen at our show! Amazing amazing amazing band. Rex caught the drummers drumstick and gave it to me for my birthday. Thanks fart machine! hahaha awesome. Bands we bring in don’t usually give out their drumsticks after their set but maybe it’s a metal/aussie/dawn heist thing. Nice memorabilia from my newest favourite live band. Carly, Pat’s wife gave me their EP for free, which I still feel awful about because after watching them, I had wanted to buy something to contribute to this awesome band but I already had he CD and I couldn’t afford a tshirt : \ Ah well. Thought maybe we’d hang out after the show and I’d get to tell them how awesome they were.

Well, nope.

Situation was still the same and got kinda worst the next day. Don’t really want to get into that but I’d just say, they weren’t too happy with us on the day they left for KL. They’re the first band we didn’t hug goodbye, which I’m so bummed about. Not because I’m so needy and WANTED a hug (I’m sad but not that sad uh please), but a hug that meant they were sad to leave, not a brief handshake that meant they were so relieved to be getting the fuck out of our hands. I’ve always taken pride in ECHO’s way of making bands feel secure when they’re here and having them actually say  “we’ve never been taken care of the way you girls have”(with no sexual implications). I’m certain Dawn Heist doesn’t feel at all like they got that from us, and I am truly bummed out about this. Hopefully, we can have a do-over someday soon.

SO that’s the story of my birthday celebration. Fortunately for me, it didn’t end on that sad note. 2 days later, Sya & I embarked on an adventurous weekend roadtrip to Kajang with the boys of Embrace Them Ghosts. Plenty of junk food, boy jokes, Rex farts, cool moshes, situational stories, disappointing meals and uncontrollable laughs. Chey chey chey looooking gooood….

Overall, eventful birthday week thanks to my amazing friends. Hahaha

(Man, this turned out to be a long one :|)

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