Ex’s & Oh’s

3 03 2010

Everyday, we tell each other stories of what our own vision of hell on Earth is. The lack of food, little space for adaptation, demoralization, the memory of what you once knew, the endless space for reflection. Yes, we all have our own versions of what it’s like. Hearing it from someone who has been through it, I felt a little relieved, and uncontrollable sadness.

Letters, letters.. they get me by.

I’ve been feeling this for months, even before anything had played out. Sometimes I can’t quite answer my own questions. Why. I can’t remember the last time I’ve had a real good functional day. When I didn’t have these thoughts in my head. They overpower everything else that is positive in my life. I can’t sleep. Focus is torturous. The slouch is becoming permanent.

There is no doubt in my mind that the most current stir of events is causing a major push downwards but this spiral has been here longer than when I can remember. I can’t continue living like this. I’m tired of it.

Aspirations get fulfilled but at what expense? Are you willing to sacrifice your mind for a want?

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