Weird.

24 02 2010

Ever so often, I find the time to stalk the shit out of people. Blogs. I love them. They help differentiate the competent from incompetent. Assholes from the Mother Teresa’s. Stupid from non-stupid. Agony? I LOVE IT!

I don’t do it to retrieve gory details about them for fun or plot to use it to my advantage. My fascination for strangers’ thoughts comes from my genuine fear of the non-strangers in my life. I don’t want to read their thoughts because I’m afraid that if those thoughts conflicted, I’d never be able to see them in the same light again. I don’t trust myself. So to keep my non-strangers, I keep away from them… on the internet. I get to know them by face and the words they speak. Not type. People get stupid when they type and it pisses me off. Strangers, I can throw away when they get stale or stupid. Non-strangers, not so much. I don’t want to hate on people who are genuinely stupid when it comes to real thoughts.

Bloggers. So many of them. SO many personalities. Blog surfing really helps to paint a picture of our planet as it goes. The more blogs I read, the more I hate myself for being part of such a imbecilic race. What have we become? Absolute nothingness. When/if I get grandchildren, I will have plenty of stories to tell about the epic movie and tv shows we have. I’d tell them how awesome James Cameron and Avatar was. I’d tell them about the serial killer that kills serial killers. Sparkling vampires….? I’d also tell them that real life, back in my day was not any different from the mess in movies. People turned alien to human emotion and they kill other people to fulfill their own desires. And well, people got stupid. Why care about extra terrestrials on Earth why you can’t get your own race right?

Bloggers. So many of them. So many different kinds of stupid.

The I’M IMPORTANT blogger
I’m incompetent and pretentious but you should read everything I say because face it, you love me. I know you love me. I have no real problems but a bug hit me in the face today so I should write about being abused. *googles poems about abuse* I’m full of shit but you don’t know that and what you don’t know, won’t hurt you. Right? Is that the right term? *googles idioms* Totally. Maybe I’ll pretend to kill myself today…….hmmmmm UP THE BLOG HITS!

The MY LIFE OF GLITTER IS BETTER THAN YOURS blogger
PICTURE <space> PICTUREPICTURE <space> PICTUREPICTURE <space> PICTUREPICTURE <space> PICTUREPICTURE <space> PICTURE

The MY BF/GF IS THE BEST!!!!! <333333333333333 blogger
MY BABY SENT ME PAPER HEARTS IN THE MAIL. I LOVED THEM. LOVE YOU BABY!

The I HATE MYSELF FOR LOVING YOU blogger
Maybe one day, he’ll read this and know how I feel.

Bloggers. So many of them. So many different kinds of stupid. But once in a while, you find gold in twisted mines.

The FUCK YOU blogger
Maybe if I typed this out, these overbearing thoughts will go away. Being silenced in real life makes me want to fuck the world upside down.

Recently, I came across my own pot of gold. The merch guy for All That Remains. I read his tumblr and saw my life in his words. This has never happened before and it freaks me out a little. Quite creepily, I found his blog through Karl of Misery Signal’s twitter page. This Karl guy CANNOT shut up about this dude he/they all like to call shankpeare on twitter and facebook. SO, I got curious.

Some people are horrible bloggers. I won’t deny that I may be one of them. It’s hard for me to express ANYTHING without being questioned or judged by everyone else. When I’m too shady, people tell me I don’t tell them things. When I’m too open, people tell me I’m a jerk. So I get lost on what exactly is the correct amount of whatever the fuck it is that’s in my brain that I’m allowed to express without judgement or these QUESTIONS.

I don’t like to be asked questions. I get irritated and defensive over things.

But this guy, “shankspeare” doesn’t seem to be afraid of anything. Or so it seems. I don’t know him personally but this man has wonderful insight. His choices for words are simple enough for you to read but the content is complex enough for you to misunderstand it. As I read paragraph by paragraph, I keep wondering if he gets question marks in his life.

Then I thought, if he didn’t, would that mean no one cared enough to ask?

I got faced with my own question marks. Why do I keep things? What am I afraid of? Who do I trust?

EXHAUSTING.

His latest post inspired MY latest post. I needed to blog about this guy, solely because I admire his honesty.

http://cutfromadifferentcloth.tumblr.com/post/408688340/time-warp

Every word in this post is every word that’s clotted up in the door way for me. It’s not so much even a “I know exactly how you feel” situation. It’s a “I’m living your fucked up life”.

Ambivalence beings people together…. Isn’t it wonderful???????? Pssh.

I had a lot more to say about the subject but I’m exhausted from going astray from topic. This whole thing probably doesn’t even make any sense. Should have just went with the “Can totally relate to this. *link* Awesome. <3”

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3 responses

24 02 2010
p4pftw

And you blogged exactly what I feel when I read that blog. And maybe I should say, “Can totally relate to this ‘link’ talking about the other ‘link’.”

Pot of gold, I very much agree to that. Because I’m reading every single post he has. It’s like a story book that speaks of your life. The uncertainty and the anger and the everything.

That’s right. We’re living his life. Much less, and much fucked. Or equally. God knows.

24 02 2010
p4pftw

And I forgot I’m signed in to p4p.

24 02 2010
Lydia

Hahahahaha congrats on that. ❤

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