New Year, Old Slate

1 01 2010

So usually around this time of the day during this time of the year, I would already have a long ass blog prepared with how much life sucked and some things I want to change about myself and things I want to achieve in the year ahead. It’s good to have resolutions, if you’re the sort to listen to yourself.

I know myself, and I’m not one of those people.

The significance of 2009 to me will always be of great misfortune. Usually, no matter how crappy life gets, I ALWAYS know that life balances itself out and I always believe it. You’d think that the older you get, the less ignorant you are. There are only negative things I can think of to describe the past year. It has been ridiculously painful to live and there had been too many instances that I truly felt that all of this was not worth it. Everything I did, I failed at. It was excruciating and exhausting. My achievements have been great but my failures overshadows them all.

Professionally, I failed miserably. So many fucking times.
My family life is spiraling full speed downwards. I’ve been trying so hard to keep it together.

The evils of the world seem to be on full force mode in 2009.  You hear about people who cheat and lie. You see people go against each other. Bad things happen to good people and the bad people are encouraged to be worst.

There is always also this fantasy thought that if I survived 2009, I’ll see that 2010 will bring me back. Will it ever? How do you recover from such atrocity? There is no such thing as a clean slate in life.

I end this year with a bruised heart, polluted mind, empty pocket, knee deep in shit debts and a broken spirit.

No, I’m not having a bad new years day. I’m having a bad life.




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