In A Perfect World

4 12 2009

It’s one thing to not be good enough for a guy. You can brush it off and say “hey, there are other fishes in the sea. This one, should be fried. And he doesn’t know me.”

Its another when you’re not good enough for the person that raised you to be who you are. How are we ever going to be great when ONE step taken in the alternate route results in having grenades thrown at you from your own army?

I can’t be done with being upset over having someone who’s suppose to see past all my flaws, actually pointing it out to me and comparing me to someone they don’t know as much as me. I can’t brush this off because I have to live with this everyday and it doesn’t stop. It won’t stop and it will never stop. I’m sick and tired but I have to, in respect, shut the fuck up.

It’s not like I don’t already feel imprisoned.

I feel prisoner to this country that forces you to one direction and one direction only.

I feel prisoner to my own house where I can’t sit in my room and read a book without being called a lazy pig and being compared to every cousin I’ve had and every friend of a friend of a friend of a friend.

I feel prisoner to my own body, that is a constant reminder I can never be perfect. No matter how much weight I lose, I will always have a reminder. Gone are the days of bettering yourself. It’s the era of perfecting yourself.





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