I’m Thankful

21 09 2009

So as usually, my first day of raya involves dreading going places,  dreading the putting on my face, dreading plastering the fake smile, dreading laughing at lame jokes, dreading all the fat jokes, dreading the eating just to be polite even when I’m completely bloated and on the verge of throwing up.

But I made a change.I decided that instead of hating it all over, I made the most of my ability to block out the world. I did that literally. My first advantage was that I had a fever so I got pills from my grandma,popped them and just went ahead with the day, AS a sick person. Not as one trying to fight it. I got to spend time with my grandmother for once so that was incredibly awesome. Usually, there’ll be a clusterfuck of people in her room. First come, first serve basis. We were the 2nd family to get there so we got to hang out with the most popular person of the whole clan. She showed us old photographs of everyone and told us short stories. It was such an awesome experience. I wish I could hang out with her more. She’s just great!

My Grandparents and their Herd. My dad is 3rd from the right.

My Grandparents and their Herd. My dad is 3rd from the right.

Favourite Person Ever: My Nenek

Favourite Person Ever: My Nenek

Pictures of MY family are pending. Or you may never get to a glimpse even. Haha. It was all taken by my sister and if you knew her well, you’ll know when she takes pictures of you, you’ll never get to see them again.

I’m blogging this, splattered on my bed, with a fever of 38.0 deg, while my family is out visiting the people we’ve already seen and hung out with yesterday. My mother let me stay home considering I might go to jail for spreading my H1N1 ass shit face disease. Enjoying every minute of this lonesome air.

Hi old friend, it’s been a while. So sorry to catch you at a time like this.. when I’m all hot (literally) and stuffed with green liquid. I hope to hang out with you soon, soledad and peace.

Currently, while procrastinating a load of dishes, pots and pans, I’m bidding to get my next phone. My dear jinx slash journo phone has failed me after 2 years and I’ve decided that a Nokia E63 would fill my broken and empty heart nicely. It’s almost a blackberry. I shall call it my redberry. I’m still in the process of choosing a seller. My dear IT savvy  friend Bryant is helping me out with this. I’m thankful for the saturation of friends. I have friends in so many genres.

Holy ones, anti-christ ones, geeky ones, cool ones, bestfriends, frienemies, work buddies, playmates, hate-the-world ones, hippie ones.

I don’t have plenty of friends but the ones I have are awesome. Wouldn’t trade this for a billion of duplicates.

I’m thankful for my family. It was a way emotional forgiveness session this year. I burst into tears as soon as I got on my knees to apologize to my parents. It’s a tradition we do every year. Every year, I do the same thing. Joke about it, laugh about it. This year, it was all tears for me. I know I’ve been difficult this year. I know I’ve done so much wrong. When I apologized to my dad, I couldn’t hold back the tears. And neither could he. As soon as he said “I’m sorry too.”, my mind flashed back to that day when he told me my dream is fact just a dream. Right there and then, I knew he was just frustrated at me attempting so hard at something and not fully achieving it. I knew right there and then, he didn’t completely say what he really wanted to say, rather phrased it in a way to be hurtful. He didn’t mean it like that but that’s how it came out. I know now he’s still on my side. I forgave him and I hope he forgives me for the alternate steps I’m going to take.

Our chat in the car meant the world. He said he will change. I don’t doubt him for a minute.

I’m thankful for my friends. As much as we argue, and disagree, they are always there. I believe the one thing that keeps us together is that dream. As long as we try to stick it together, we will make it. One way or another. Who the fuck can stop us?

I’m thankful.

A change will be arising but I will try not to screw this up. I won’t.

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