My Crazy Ass Dream

26 08 2009

I was watching Bruno online and shortly after the penis talking part of the show, I decided this wasn’t the type of movie I’d stay up for. I fell asleep at around 10:30 and dreamt of 3 famous people in a 3 part dream. Tyson Ritter of The All American Rejects, James Hetfield from Metallica and the bushy one from Fall Out Boy. Crazy weird too. (Just so you know, I typed this out right after waking up and brushing my teeth so excuse my spelling, sentence structuring and whatnot.)

The first part involves a big blue tour bus. It almost looked like a Pepsi can but anyway..

I was on that bus and apparently, we had to make a stop. It was a double decker and I significantly remember falling off the stairs. If you know me at all, you’ll know this is not something I WOULDN’T end up doing. Anyway, I practically rolled off the bus and onto a street. It looked like one of those pit stops the “First Class” bus from Singapore to Genting but a little more foreign. (My sub-conscious mind is not very creative if you notice.) We were parked OUTSIDE the gas station. The thing separating us from it is a semi tiny gutter. A ray of tipsy people came out of the bus behind me and bee lined to the little store at the gas station. I trailed behind but instead of entering the store, I went straight to the payphone, which was just next to it.

A short conversation with a mysterious “Ryan” person pursued and all I remember saying was that I was alright and I’ll be home in a couple of days. I set down the phone and turned around to be startled by a very tall and stoned looking Tyson Ritter. He sorta just stared at me for a couple of seconds and simply said “Hurry Up. We’re leaving.”in the most monotone voice you can imagine. From my experience with meeting this guy in real life, he is nothing like this fella in my dream. And I thought bubbly Tyson was scary…

We brisked walked back to the bus and of course, with his fine fine long ass skinny legs, he got there first. Remember how I said I rolled off the bus? Well, if i had REALLY rolled off the SAME bus, it would have been a long long fall. Tyson so effortlessly got on the bus that had no stairs and had an entrance that was at least as high as the level of my chest. And if it wasn’t bad enough that I was this short Asian person struggling to climb aboard, the damn bus starts to move. Slowly but surely, it picked up pace and I remember just holding on to the side yelling at the top of my lungs “HELP ME UP GODDAMMIT!”

Tyson grabbed hold of my hands, with his face still monotone and again, effortlessly managed to get my 18789372842 pound body onto the bus. I laid down on the floor of the entrance, trying desperately not to cry, and saw him just standing over me, with those blue blue eyes and no hint of a smile. I remember feeling scared like as if this Tyson Ritter figure was in fact my kidnapper. But I don’t think I would mind if he was. Would you?

Anyway, I was woken up by the sound of my alarm clock ringing at around 2:30am. It was sahur time but wouldn’t you know it, I hibernated my laptop and went back to sleep to have my next weird ass dream.

It was set in ANOTHER god forsaken bus. A single this time. The atmosphere was significantly different. In the first dream, I felt out of place, distressed and almost scared for my life. In this one, I was more carefree, at peace and happy as a hippie. I was standing in the pathway of the bus, leaning against a table, with a leg stretched across to the other side’s table. If you’re familiar with the typical layout of a tour bus, you’ll know what I’m talking about. I was in a bullet for my valentine band shirt (which is weird because i barely even like the band) and jeans, swaying from side to side while talking to this dude in a cannibal corpse shirt. We might have had a mix up in the laundry. There were a couple of other people there but I definitely remember my girls being there. How? Sya was on one of the beds on my right yelling across me saying “CARMEN, WHERE DID YOU PUT MY BAG?!” and Carmen yelling from the other side “I DON’T HAVE YOUR FUCKING BAG.” and Lyn yelling from God knows where “BOTH OF YOU SHUT UP.”

That was the only conversation in the bus I remember because it was too damn funny. Then suddenly there was a tsunami of people coming through me and my cannibal corpse shirt wearing dude and alot of people talking at the same time. I ended talking to some other people about some other things and goddamn, I remember absolutely none of it. Then suddenly, JAMES MOTHER EFFING HETFIELD was right in my face. I was taken aback a little but he just said “YOU HAVEN’T HEARD IT?!”. So apparently, we were all talking about some song? I don’t know. All I know is that JAMES MOTHER EFFING HETFIELD grabbed my arm and almost literally dragged me out of the madness and out of the bus.

I sat down on the step of bus and he stood in front of me. He reached over to my left and switched on a radio. Why there was a radio at the entrance of the bus, I don’t know but he began to almost beat at the thing with his finger, scuffling for a song. Then I remember hearing this slow ballad and just looking at him and nodding. He began to light a cigarette. This man is sooooo old but sooooooo hot omg. We were talking oh so casually like old friends and I felt soooooooooo cool la seh! I can’t remember most of it but i remember asking him what Metallica song he hated most and he said “Master of puppets. No doubt or hesitation.” And then this was the part I STOPPED feeling cool. I replied “No way dude! That has got to be my ultimate favourite Metallica song. You’re kidding! I mean if I was ever in a crowd at your show, I know for a fact me sya, lyn and carmen will be all tears and jumping like Bobby(?) on acid.” I started to sing the lyrics to the song and doing the “T_T” MSN emoticon on intervals. But thank god, hetfield just laughed it off.

And of course, this awesome dream was interrupted by Beyonce. My sister’s alarm is “Crazy in Love” and her getting off the bed for sahur is an earthquake I get daily. That is totally NOT a fat joke, my bunk bed is just hopeless and falling apart. I contemplated getting up and sahuring with her but I wanted to get back to my dream.

Unfortunately, I DIDN’T get back to THAT dream, rather continued my 3 part drama series with Andy Hurley of Fall Out Boy. Now, this is just plain weird because 1)I don’t even like the guy. 2)I don’t even know him? 3)I DONT EVEN LIKE THE GUY.

Okay, this one WASN’T in a tour bus. It was in a car with NO DOORS. I don’t know what is with this night and moving vehicles. Tsk. Anyway, Andy was driving this pathetic excuse for a car and I was in the back seat, holding a huge cardboard box. I remember it to be heavy too. He was driving recklessly and I remember almost falling out more than 3 times. My arms and legs were wrapped around this huge box and someone had his very very tattooed arm hooked on my left arm, presumably to ensure I don’t fly out. There were 3 other guys in the vehicle, one of them behind me, carrying the same sized cardboard box in his arms. One was riding shotgun and the other was the one holding on to my life. Surprisingly, in this ridiculously life threatening situation, I was having the time of my life. I would dangle my legs out the car and have the dude next to me yell out “ARE YOU FUCKING CRAZY?!”. I’d also from time to time think it to be cool to hang my head outside to look at oncoming vehicle. Then suddenly, amidst the laughter and chaos, the guy in the backseat suddenly yelled ” Dude slow down. I see a cop car.” Andy replies to that saying “Fuck them. We’re not doing anything wrong.” I remember sticking my head outside.. the door(?) and SEEING the police car heading straight for us and remember feeling a little bit of panic, but more excited than anything. What the fuck?

Anyway, I don’t know what happened in between or whether I even dreamt it but the next thing I remember seeing was Andy, being interrogated by 2 cops. He was very calm and didn’t even sweat the situation. I don’t recall feeling scared or distressed or anything really. I just knew I was there and I couldn’t wait to go home. Then suddenly, the scene was of me walking towards a cop. I asked him whether he’s seen Andy and the guy chuckles at me. He folds his arms and started to shake his head. “Your friend left here 30 minutes ago. I’m guessing without you.”

I remember just getting completely flushed with rage. “THAT SON OF A BITCH!” was the last thing I said before I woke up to find that it was 10:55am. I laid back onto my bed and shut my eyes. A few minutes later, I jerked back awake and looked at the time again. It was 9:15am.





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